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Fears for my Cochlear implant…. July 14, 2010

Posted by loz121 in Uncategorized.
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Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud to be a cochlear implant wearer and would even say it’s a part of me now but despite this and BEACAUSE of this, I just cannot go out in public with my Cochlear implant on show. I’m always scared that someone will pinch it, i know it’s stupid but I love my cochlear implant too much too lose it and I can’t do without it. I wear it 24/7 *apart from bed and bath* as any of my friends nad family know. I was quite confident wearing it when I was a teenager at college but I had an icident in my town where when I was wearing a baseball hat and this awful girl came from behind and nicked my hat right from my head and went over to her mates and played with it on her head showing off. As she snatched my hat from my head, my Cochlear implant nearly went wth it as i had my hair in a pony tail. I had the confidence to go ask for it back but my confidence was a bit shaken when I nearly lost the cochlear implant so ever since I’ve worn my hair down when I’m out and about in town. Might I was with my 2nd implant too. I’ve always been scared of losing the outer part of the cochlear implant. If i did, i would be in such a panic!!! Id be so lost without it even for one day! It would be nice to be able to show off my cochlear implant whenever I was out and about and show how proud I am to wear it and I hope i can sometime in the future. This cochlear implant has changed my life for the better and I really don’t know where I’d be without it. One thing is for sure though, my life would so very different if my parents never implanted me in1994 when i was just 9.
I also rememeber the fear when my CI surgeon told me I’d lost the first one. I wondered how I’d cope without it and a million things rushed through my head as he was talking. Even If it was only a month til i was reimplanted in the other ear, i think what helped me was having my friends at school coz I was only 15 and i was grateful the school had a deaf base too so I had extra help. It has given me fears about losing my 2nd one though, although I know it’s unlikely because I now have my PEG and I’m getting my vitamins and nutrients, so if i EVER got another ear infection, hopefully i’d be able to fight it off. I know I only lost the first one because I coucldnt fight off the infection because of my undiagnosed conditon but I should be able to now thanks to the PEG and the feeds I’m having and now that docs know about my mitochondrial conditon.
I know I am proud to be a CI wearer and I hope I’ll eventually get over hte fear of not being able to wear it in public places one day
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