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Christmas is on the way….! November 29, 2008

Posted by loz121 in Uncategorized.
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I’m really looking forward to Christmas as December creeps in! I have been listening to Christmas songs for the last 2 weeks or so much to the despair of my parents! Christmas comes earlier each year! Haha!
I am still to buy myself an advent calendar as I have had one every year! On the 1st of December we will be putting up our large fibre optic tree & switch on the lights on our tree in the front garden! My parents put the sparkly blue lights on the tree in preparation and to test them out! I will post pictures of them soon!
We decorate the whole of the living room with little ornaments of Christmas such as little Santa’s and light up snowmen and also some bouncing Santa’s that you hang up and then when you hit them they go “MERRY CHRISTMAS!” ! Our house is going to look sooooo festive!! I’m already feeling VERY festive as there’s Christmassy commercials, lights, Xmas shopping in town!

My list for Christmas!

  • opening my advernt calender
  • Get a sexy haircut
  • Go the junior school’s christmas fayre
  • Send christmas cards
  • Putting the fibre optic tree up in the living room
  • switching on the christmas lights on the tree outside
  • decorate the living room with tinsel!
  • Load Christmassy pictures from my camera!
  • Go shopping for christmas outfits to wear on Christmas Eve & Day
  • Wrap presents
  • Go to my nana’s house in Middlesbrough to see the rest of the family & exchange presents
  • Listen to even more christmas songs (including playing Wham – Last Christmas a thousand times!!)
  • See mates for christmas Eve as we get together as group and catch up!
  • Celebrate christmas Day with parents and brother, open presents and go to the pub
  • Watch Christmas TV specials including Dr who!

Ah What a good & busy time Christmas is! I hope everyone else has a good and Happy Christmas planned! xx

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Showing off… November 27, 2008

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I have never made a secret that I am deaf and have a cochlear implant to people I meet but I never really show my cochlear implant off….
I always wear my hair down & hate it when I show my ears off sometimes because of the surgery i’ve had on both my ears, i’m left with my right ear that’s flat as a pancake thats practically stuck to my head and my left ear that sticks out a bit because of my cochlear implant that rests on it. I get scared of showing it off in case someone snatches the cochlear implant from my ear so i never really wear my hair up when I go to town or somewhere busy like that! I’ll wear my hair up when i’m spending time with family or seeing friends at their houses! I just couldn’t risk losing my cochlear implant because it’s a part of me, its the first thing I put on in the morning to the time I take it off for bed and I wouldn’t like it if something happened to it and I had to spend a few days without hearing!

I’m going to wear my hair up for the volunteering at the junior school tomorrow. Only 3 kids know I am deaf in the class I help in because I told them on Wedsnesday and showed them the cochlear implant. Kids are always curious about things they dont know about! It’s probably gone around the class now that “Laura’s deaf!” Maybe that will teach them not to be so noisy in the class in future and listen to me! hehe I hope the kids understand what a cochlear implant is though?! If not, I shall let them know!

Owwwww… November 25, 2008

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I just had me another fall tonight owwww! God i hate it when that happens! It’s usually because I’m so bloody clumsy and trip over my own feet! I dont pick my legs up enough when I’m walking so usually if there’s a bump or anything in the pavement, I’ll certainly trip over it!
:O(

When I have some kind of fall, it always seem to go in slow motion… weeeeeeeeee bump to the ground! Landed on my bottom and sorta pulled my arm so they will be sore tomorrow!!
I’m definitely staying in to bed tomorrow so I dont have to spend the day with a pain in my bum!

At least it’s not the worse fall! The worst fall I had was after the month in hospital (see blog post Myasthenia gravis) and after I had Christmas to recover from that month in hospital, me and my family went to holiday destination Blackpool that summer in 2004 but because I wasn’t fully back to normal health, the walking everywhere for a week took it’s toll on me and at the end of the holldiay when we were just walking to the car to go back home, I finally collapsed!

My legs just totally went but it wasn’t just me that was hurt with the massive bruises on my knees because I hit concrete floor! You see, when I’m with my mum, we always link arms (putting my arms throught my mum’s arms)when we are walking together, and when I fell that time, I was still holding her arm so she took the whole weight of me and ended up with a bruise on her arm too from where I had grabbed hold of her to stop me falling forward. I knew it was heavy fall because I end up making a hole in the jeans I was wearing at the time! I was just so fustrated at the time at falling that I cried in the car when we were travelling back home because I wasn’t used to being so weak, i always used to be socialble & loved doing stuff so it crushed my confidence a lot. I’ve learnt to cope with falls better now if I ever have one, it doesnt happen so much now because i know how much walking I can tolerate and I will alsways tell my mum or who ever I am with, that I am getting tired because it’s only when my legs get tired, I’m more likely to have a fall!

Cannulas (shiver)… November 24, 2008

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Cannula….. What a horrible little word! I perfer it’s latin meaning which is “little reed” If you dont know what a cannula is, it’s a little tube with a needle that goes in your viens anywhere on your body! Normally for an operation it would be done on to top of your hand. Below in the picture you can see my bandaged hand where the cannula is under! I wont show you the actual cannula because basically even looking at one myself just makes me shiver because its connected to some horrible times I”ve had with cannulas.

I’ve had bad times with them from doctors driving to squeeze blood out of my hand to painful experiences with IV drips. IV drips were were ok the few operations I had but then each time I was on an IV drip, I had painful hands because of the liquid from the IV drip to my cannula and it always made the vien it was going into swell up somehow and was very sore going in that I would actually cry! So I developed a phobia against the actual putting the cannula in my hand by a anesthetist. I would never let them put it in and nurses had to cover my eyes and everything or hold my hand down to put it in! One of the later problems with cannulas were that they could never find a vein to put it in because my hands were always so cold! ( as I always was because I’m a wafer thin hospital robe! Who wouldn’t be cold??!) Last year because of my phobia, I asked to be put to sleep by gas first before the anesthetist put any cannulas in my hand & I think I may always do so in future if I ever had any more operations, its just a horrible thing to have in your hand! I cant even look at one on a TV like any hospital programmes I may watch, real or fake! Not that I’m hoping to having any more operations or be put to sleep in the near future! I would perfer it if I never had another operation in my life again but I dont think that will ever happen….

There may always be a time in my life where I may land in hospital or have a procedure done because of my deafness or my mitochondrial condition so it’s a thing I will have to sadly get used to…

Cannulas (shiver)… November 24, 2008

Posted by loz121 in Uncategorized.
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Cannula….. What a horrible little word! I perfer it’s latin meaning which is “little reed” If you dont know what a cannula is, it’s a little tube with a needle that goes in your viens anywhere on your body! Normally for an operation it would be done on to top of your hand. Below in the picture you can see my bandaged hand where the cannula is under! I wont show you the actual cannula because basically even looking at one myself just makes me shiver because its connected to some horrible times I”ve had with cannulas.

I’ve had bad times with them from doctors driving to squeeze blood out of my hand to painful experiences with IV drips. IV drips were were ok the few operations I had but then each time I was on an IV drip, I had painful hands because of the liquid from the IV drip to my cannula and it always made the vien it was going into swell up somehow and was very sore going in that I would actually cry! So I developed a phobia against the actual putting the cannula in my hand by a anesthetist. I would never let them put it in and nurses had to cover my eyes and everything or hold my hand down to put it in! One of the later problems with cannulas were that they could never find a vein to put it in because my hands were always so cold! ( as I always was because I’m a wafer thin hospital robe! Who wouldn’t be cold??!) Last year because of my phobia, I asked to be put to sleep by gas first before the anesthetist put any cannulas in my hand & I think I may always do so in future if I ever had any more operations, its just a horrible thing to have in your hand! I cant even look at one on a TV like any hospital programmes I may watch, real or fake! Not that I’m hoping to having any more operations or be put to sleep in the near future! I would perfer it if I never had another operation in my life again but I dont think that will ever happen….

There may always be a time in my life where I may land in hospital or have a procedure done because of my deafness or my mitochondrial condition so it’s a thing I will have to sadly get used to…

A Million Love Songs Later… November 22, 2008

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One of my fave bands at the moment are Take That! I loved them in the 1990’s when they got togerher. For people who may not know take that back then, they looked like this:

I love their songs and played them constantly til the time they broke up! Although I love ALL the songs by Take That. in the 90’s. my favourite songs were “Love Ain’t Here anymore” & ” A Million Love Songs” Yes, it was sad that Robbie left but they remained strong even if they did split soon after robbie left, I still loved their songs and was very upset when they split up as did a million other girls haha!

They came back on the scene in the last few years as strong as ever! They may be older but they are still sexy! Ive fancied my way through the band and now I’m kinda smitten with Howard seen here in the picture below in orange shirt.

They get better each time they bring a new song out! I listened to “Patience” for weeks when they released it! Their songs are some of the songs that I first started listening to when I first got my cochlear implant in 1994 so they hold fond memories for me!

A Million Love Songs Later… November 22, 2008

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One of my fave bands at the moment are Take That! I loved them in the 1990’s when they got togerher. For people who may not know take that back then, they looked like this:

I love their songs and played them constantly til the time they broke up! Although I love ALL the songs by Take That. in the 90’s. my favourite songs were “Love Ain’t Here anymore” & ” A Million Love Songs” Yes, it was sad that Robbie left but they remained strong even if they did split soon after robbie left, I still loved their songs and was very upset when they split up as did a million other girls haha!

They came back on the scene in the last few years as strong as ever! They may be older but they are still sexy! Ive fancied my way through the band and now I’m kinda smitten with Howard seen here in the picture below in orange shirt.

They get better each time they bring a new song out! I listened to “Patience” for weeks when they released it! Their songs are some of the songs that I first started listening to when I first got my cochlear implant in 1994 so they hold fond memories for me!

Weather sounds… November 20, 2008

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I love it when it rains, especially when it rains heavy. In summer, I always have my window open in my bedroom when its warm & I can stay up till the early morning hours just talking to someone on msn! While I am in my bedroom, and it starts raining heavy, it just sounds very calming! I can sometimes be on the internet in my living room and my normal chair is by the window so when it rains heavy, I can hear the pattering against the window! Its sounds like these that I’m grateful I have a cochlear implant because if there’s one sound I treasure, it’s that calm pattering of the rain!

Another form of weather that I love is thunderstorms! Once, I came home with my mum when it was pouring down and we had just got in the door when there was a BOOOOM! behind us! We thought the roof of our house had come down but it was thunder! It was the loudest I had ever heard it before but it was brilliant because I love it when you get a thrill like that! I also know that the lightening comes first, then that BOOM rolls in a few minutes later! It’s just the most amazing and thrilling sound that puts tingles down your spine & gives you goose bumps!

Snow is great to watch too, if you are all cosy inside your house! I don’t often go out in it unless I have to because of my raynaud’s syndrome. It’s lovely when you have a world that’s full of white, fluffy snow when you’ve just woken up! Although, sadly we never get as much as 1 or 2 inches of snow and we haven’t had any deep snow since the early 1990’s round where I live & I was only a little kid when I saw snow as deep as that!

My best weather though, as is anyone’s is the sunshine! When it’s sunny, I’ll sit in the garden on my swing chair and read a book! I like it when I’m out in the garden too in the summer because I can hear all the different bird songs as I live near some woods! It’s just great, so peaceful, well apart from all the birdsongs but they are the best bits of being in the garden!

Weather sounds… November 20, 2008

Posted by loz121 in Uncategorized.
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I love it when it rains, especially when it rains heavy. In summer, I always have my window open in my bedroom when its warm & I can stay up till the early morning hours just talking to someone on msn! While I am in my bedroom, and it starts raining heavy, it just sounds very calming! I can sometimes be on the internet in my living room and my normal chair is by the window so when it rains heavy, I can hear the pattering against the window! Its sounds like these that I’m grateful I have a cochlear implant because if there’s one sound I treasure, it’s that calm pattering of the rain!

Another form of weather that I love is thunderstorms! Once, I came home with my mum when it was pouring down and we had just got in the door when there was a BOOOOM! behind us! We thought the roof of our house had come down but it was thunder! It was the loudest I had ever heard it before but it was brilliant because I love it when you get a thrill like that! I also know that the lightening comes first, then that BOOM rolls in a few minutes later! It’s just the most amazing and thrilling sound that puts tingles down your spine & gives you goose bumps!

Snow is great to watch too, if you are all cosy inside your house! I don’t often go out in it unless I have to because of my raynaud’s syndrome. It’s lovely when you have a world that’s full of white, fluffy snow when you’ve just woken up! Although, sadly we never get as much as 1 or 2 inches of snow and we haven’t had any deep snow since the early 1990’s round where I live & I was only a little kid when I saw snow as deep as that!

My best weather though, as is anyone’s is the sunshine! When it’s sunny, I’ll sit in the garden on my swing chair and read a book! I like it when I’m out in the garden too in the summer because I can hear all the different bird songs as I live near some woods! It’s just great, so peaceful, well apart from all the birdsongs but they are the best bits of being in the garden!

Blissful unawareness… November 17, 2008

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Most of the time, I am relatively good at talking to family & friends one on one about things and ok at the group thing but what I find about deafness which I hate is that I tend to miss things. Not the “I miss the occasional word” in group situations or me saying “what?” but it’s the growing up and missing the things that are going on with other people. I’m always finding out new things even now about my friends and the things that they have been through in the past because I never knew they were going on at the time due to me missing people talking about it etc. Like if friend had a problem with another friend in the past, I was in ignorant bliss of not knowing about it…? But I would have liked to be included in things like that and let me know what’s going on with people. There have always been things like “I heard this…. “ or “did u know this…” and I don’t because no one lets me know about it or I find out from someone else who has heard it but only via MSN messenger. Ah the glories of MSN messenger, where I never miss a thing of what people say because it’s written. If only there was something in life like that where you wouldn’t miss a thing of what people say and what’s going on with people. I do my best to keep up with what’s going on with my friends and family but sometimes it feels like I’m not included & if it doesn’t include me, I don’t want to end up saying something wrong or something I’m not supposed to say to someone and it’s all awkward & I feel horrible about it!
It’s happened before in the past and I’ve got in trouble with my parents with it etc because I wasn’t supposed to say something to someone but how do I know it’s a secret if no one tells me…!!!
I would prefer to know about something than someone keeping it from me especially if it includes my family and friends! I hate it when they say my family says it’s nothing to do with me but I like to feel included in things going on in the family even if it’s just as simple as something as something my brother did at university!
Although sometimes, it’s good to be blissfully unaware, if it’s an awful situation